10 ways the Sun beats Yahweh

1- Yahweh is weakened by iron, much like a fairy. No solar deity known to man is vulnerable to fucking iron.

2- The Sun is still fierce and powerfull, and will continue to be for several more billion years. If Revelation is of any indication, Yahweh is currently so weak he relies on seven headed leopards, whores, horsemen and angels releasing plagues to have any impact on Earth.

3- The Sun has several birthday parties per year: the Winter Solistice, the Spring Equinox, the Summer Solistice and the Autumn Equinox. Yahweh only has 2 birthday parties, one of which he stole from the Sun. Lame.

4- Yahweh once or twice made a pilar of fire, and drowned the world once (which is a story stolen from babylonic mythology anyway, in which it took more than one deity to do that; therefore the biblical flood is a lie, and he did not do such a thing). Phaeton, Helios' son, drove the solar chariot across the Earth, and set the whole world on fire, and nearly evaporated the ocean away. Much more awesome.

5- Several solar deities teached us music, medicine, the arts, sometimes even warfare tactics. Yahweh only teached us more reasons to kill people, and only to execute them, not to kill them in wars.

6- Yahweh is a misogynistic prude, and his behaviour in the Bible seriously suggests that he needs to get laid. Not only several solar deities are associated with sex, some are also female, and Shapash, which was worshipped in the same area in which Yahweh's cults began, was an outright celestial amazon; the same applies to Sekhmet from egyptian paganism. Strong women are superior to sexist loosers.

7- Yahweh sends his followers to Sheol until the end of the world, when he either sends them to the Lake of Fire or Heaven. Freyr sends his followers to his sister's realm, Sessrumnir. Not only don't they have to wait so long, things there are much, much better than Heaven as described in the Bible.

8- The Sun is brilliant with light of all the colours of the spectrum and plasma at extremely high temperatures. Yahweh, meanwhile, sits all day long in a white throne among dark clouds and waters. Must be a depressing place to live.

9- In the end of the world, Jesus goes around with a sword in the mouth. Meanwhile, Apollo has fiery arrows, Helios has gauntlets, Freyr has a fiery sword, and some like Sekhmet and Neito are war deities, meaning they have much in the way of weapons. And none of them carry their weapons in the mouth; they are pratical, not retarded.

10- Sunlight brings both life and death; Yahweh's existence only brings death and annoyance.